The lying continues at “Property Description”

OK, now let’s have a look at their:

Property description
This 1 bedroom beach apartment is part of ‘ReefView Apartments & Cottages’ located in lush tropical gardens close to the shores of Cades Bay and the Cades Bay Marine Reserve.

….beach apartment…??? W.T.F.?!
Wouldn’t you expect a “beach apartment” to be located at the beach?
If not, you might still call it “Beach-View” Apartment, but then again, everybody in Antigua could call their Apartment “Beach-View….” because the Island is so small that you can catch a glimpse of some beach from pretty much anywhere…..

…and Cottages…??? Plural?
When someone calls his place “…and Cottages” wouldn’t you expect there to be at least two of them? But they have just one! So it may be a “small lie” (most certainly if compared to their other lies) but a lie never the less.

…located in lush tropical gardens…?? WHERE?? for crying out loud!
What a stupid lie! All it takes is a look at Google Earth and the excellent “areal shot” of the Reefview Apartments in Cades Bay; It is easy to see, that the entire property has a size of only some 800mĀ² (a little over 8,000 square feet) and set aside a narrow walkway there simply is no space between all the construction for anything remotely similar to “lush tropical gardens”!

…close to the shores of Cades Bay….??? Jeeeeez!
Again: All it takes is a look at Google Earth to see, that the Reefview Apartments are no where “near” the shores…. It’s about 1km (1,000 yds) “as the birds fly” – and that may be considered “close” on an island the size of England, but on an Island the size of Antigua that is anything BUT “close”!

….the Cades Bay Marine Reserve….???!!??? W._T._F._??!
Contrary to Carol and Nick I really am very active for protecting our oceans…. and trust me, there is no such thing like a “Cades Bay Marine Reserve”!
On the contrary: The small reefs at Cades Bay are literally dead. Overfishing (part of which has been “accomplished” by Nick, the -self-appointed- “Captain Nick” of “Antigua Fly-Fishing”) and the rest has been “fu**ed over by the local fishing fleet which have a small marina right in Uerlings (the same Village Reefview-Apartments are at).

….and that’s “OK” with VRBO?

OK, let’s look at the next paragraph:

With its covered seating areas outside and cathedral ceilings and quiet efficient fans inside – the Penthouse is a cool, airy and spacious home from home.

“….quiet and efficient fans” ? What a bunch of B.S.!
They are old, worn out and highly ineffective” – PLUS they are Carole’s and Nick’s “official excuse”, their “official smoke-screen” to simply intrude on their guests privacy. “Because they have to switch the ceilig fans off….”
So much also about the “Cool, airy and ……” part!
By the time you get back to YOUR apartment, it is sticky and hot inside because the “catheidral ceilings” really mean, that there is no insulation between the tin(!)-roof and the apartment….and it doesn’t take much imagination how extremely the interior does heat up during a hot and sunny day…. and
“…..home away from home”? ….Yeah! Right!
Considering that most guests of the Reefview Apartments are coming from the US, Carole and Nick actually can praise the Lord that it is illegal in Antigua to shoot intruders of your home on sight! Because in most states in the USofA that would be perfectly legal – and while you rent an apartment from them, YOU are the “owner” of said apartment, and NOBODY has any busines entering it!

Summary Sentence #2:
(ok, well in a way the “average” is “improving”.. sort of)
…but it obviously still is “OK” with VRBO?

Next paragraph please:

The comfortable queen size bed is draped in egyptian cotton sheets and there are comfy cushions aplenty.

“….the comfortable queen size bed”… Aehm? WHAT?
Even every second rate Motel in the US either offers TWO !”queen size beds” or one king-size.
So no question: A queen-size bed, in terms of ONE QUEEN SIZE BED means nothing else but that the owners either have been too stingy to purchase a proper kingsize bed (which would normaly be the correct guess when it comes to Nick and Carole Williams at their Reefview Apartments – but in this case actually means): There simply is not enough space to fit a Kingsize (yet alone TWO queen-size beds)!
In addition the bedroom is actually too small to fit at least that properly into the room – and all you need to do is to have a close look at their own promotional pictures and you will notice that the bed is shoved all the way to the wall, so if you are a couple at least one of you has to crawl into bed from the short end… very “comfortable and roomy apartments” – indeed!

“…..draped in egyptian cotton sheets??” Now THATS a lough!
Now, maybe not too many people are used to “egyptian cotton sheets” at home – for those of you who are not: Get some! The quality of your sleep will improve dramatically.
You might already have guessed it: Yes, I do have my own private bedding in (real) “egyptian cotton sheets” – and I DO KNOW the DIFFERENCE to totally normal linen sheets. And those at Reefview without any doubt are plain, normal, run-on-the-mill sheets (and actualy of rather low and cheap quality)

“….and comfy cushions aplenty.” TRUE, BUT:
Now here we are having ourselves one of the rare moments when Carole Williams is NOT lying! There actually are “comfy cushions aplenty” (well, one might be able to argue about the “comfy”, but the “aplenty” is correct.
BUT: Either nobody ever told them that cushions that are being sat at, leaned on by guest after guest, who on top of every thing else usually don’t exactly “overdress” in that climate – eventually NEED WASHING! and/or CLEANING!
Fact is, these cushions are filthy beyond believe, they smell of old sweat and sitting or leaning on them with your bare skin will cause even the most hardened skin to show a rash. I really would not want to know what a microscopic examination of all their “cushions aplenty” would reveal….
But maybe you don’t even need a “microscope”? Just bring your magnifying glass and maybe you can watch the Zoo living in these cushions already with basicaly the naked eye…..

Summary Sentence #3
It is sickening, no? And again: VRBO knows about all of that!

One more? Yeah, because it’s a cute one….

“The en suite bathroom comes complete with rainfall shower.”

In a way, that even is true too!
Except for it really being just a plain, old and very regular shower head which, over the course of time has accumulated so much lime and grime that together with the already low water-pressureĀ  it really could be called a “rainfall shower” ….
With everything I by now know about Nick and Carole, it at times still puzzles me how boldly they are lying…..

And mind you: In view of all their lies above THEY draw the conclusion that they are justified to charge room-rates that would be justified if their claims would be justified…. which sort of leads to one very scary thought:
……….What if these crooks are believing their own lies??

In summary:
What a chraming and wonderful couple to spend your vacation with!
[ Sarcasm: Off]